Dear Diary 📒; A letter to my crush🥺

Is it the fact that I 😊 I 😂 I have a sense of humor😝 and I have a lot of people hanging around me👯👩🏿‍🤝‍👨🏾👭🏿 that you can’t see that the smile does not reach my eyes🙂, the laugh is forced😐 the sense of humor hides my insecurities😑 and the friends are just a source of distraction 😪

Distraction from the shell I hide in💔 the walls I’ve built up high no one can climb🌚 all just because I’m afraid of you seeing the empty depressed lonely side of me which is the actual me🙂

Afraid that once you see this you’ll flee because you cannot handle a depressed human with a lot more troubles and insecurities that you can’t handle as you have those of your own 😪 Afraid that you will panic and leave when my anxiety kicks in and you don’t know how to deal with it😔 Afraid that the insecurities I have that make me overthink about your intentions towards me will push you away 😐 Afraid that you’ll draw me in make me obsessed and dependent on you just to up and leave like I never meant ish to you💔

I’m I wrong to think of all these things that make me afraid to believe that you actually like me genuinely with my flaws🥺 Wrong to think that you actually like me because of the company I keep😐 Wrong to think that you like me because I’m a puzzle to you one that intrigues you🙂 Wrong to think that I’m a maze that you want to uncover it’s secret doors and later leave when you’re done😔

I’m sorry that I can’t be a normal girl who knows what she wants but instead a messed up girl who is just as confused about herself 😣 If only I was just a normal girl then I’d like you without triggering my insecurities and just say,”Fudge it 😃 it is what it is 😊” but sadly I’m not😞

I wish I could tell you to please wait for me until I’m better or just hold me until everything gets better 🥺 I wish it were that simple 😓

When you see this I hope it won’t change your mind about me🥺 about us🥺 because I actually like you too🥺👉🏾👈🏾

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness
Jonathan Safran Foer

5 thoughts on “Dear Diary 📒; A letter to my crush🥺

    1. With this I’m certain he won’t change his mind about you,about you(2).I bet he likes you too❤️🔥Good write girl!

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